Fun Time With George
by Bloodlustful
Summary: Leaving prison is followed by a 1999 summer picnic for the main gang of four, but the funny thing is, George's so-called friends have a little something in store for him. If you loathe George Costanza, then I promise you that you will absolutely LOVE this fic!


Greetings, fellow fans of Seinfeld! I have been in the mood to write a new fic lately, and I've thought up the perfect one!

As we all know, George Costanza is the worst of the four main characters on Seinfeld by country miles aplenty and indeed a very horrible person overall.

So, for that reason and as a catering to any and all George haters(which I am one of myself, btw), I have written a story in which, after they leave prison in 1999, the central quartet later on in that year, specifically in the middle of summer, decides to have themselves a picnic, but the funny thing is that Jerry, Elaine and Kramer also decide to have fun at George's expense with classic forms of cruel jokes, and so they bring along what means to do so they need.

I can assure you all that you'll get one hell of a laugh out of this, especially those of you who hate Jerk Can't Stand Ya's guts the most(yup, that's my insult name for the bastard, especially since the latter part was how his gym coach addressed him, so let's go for the perfect pick and equally perfect irony here, huh?).

As a matter of fact, I dare anyone who reads this fanfic not to burst out laughing.

THINGS TO NOTE:

This obviously post-series story takes place specifically on July 27th, 1999

I own none of the characters. They all belong to Seinfeld.

Fun Time With George

Jerry Seinfeld, Elaine Benes, Cosmo Kramer and George Costanza were out in the park on a beautiful, sunny summer day, intending to have a picnic in the park followed by many a form of outdoor enjoyment, which they'd all agreed to, and they had both brought everything they needed and wanted for it and set it up in the ideal spot.

Funny thing is, though, that there was a little something else that was to be part of this picnic, as well.

You see, Jerry, Elaine, Kramer and George were all going to enjoy themselves with this picnic, sure enough, only…in the latter's case, this was not to be so at all.

Why?

In the mood not just for a picnic in the park on a lovely day, but also for some amusement at George's expense along with all the other outdoor activities they were going to engage in, Elaine had made sure to pack a football, Jerry had remembered to put in a magnifying glass and Kramer had seen to it that he would bring some cowboy boots, and they all packed a miniature video camera, as well.

And, just after they were done unpacking, and then had eaten and drunk what they'd brought along for food and drink at the picnic followed by their digesting and resting enough to be able to get up and get going, Elaine stood up off of their picnic table and said: "Say, guys, I was just thinking of something…we're going to have a lot of fun in this park along with the lunch we've just finished being great, but why don't we start off that fun with a few bonuses we brought along that George here probably wasn't expecting, before what we originally planned?"

George looked dumbfounded, though Jerry and Kramer acted natural despite knowing that this was the time that they'd really get a kick out of along with Elaine, and George asked: "Huh? What? Elaine, did I miss something?"

"Oh, we just wanted to surprise you, that's all." Elaine replied as she took the football out of one of the bags and, though subtly, Jerry got out the magnifying glass and Kramer pulled out the cowboy boots, both making sure that George wouldn't see it while Elaine explained: "See, George, me, Jerry and Kramer made the decision that, since you've been through worse than all of us put together before, during and after our time in prison, we would provide you with a little extra amusement during this picnic than ourselves. So we got some things for doing that, like the football you see me holding down here."

Elaine, during her explanation, had crouched down in a Spider-Man-like way and was now holding the football down with her left hand.

After George asked: "Really? Well, I thank you guys a lot, but I don't quite get how all of this is going to be so joyous. For instance, what's the football for?"

"It's very simple, really." Elaine responded before adding: "I'll hold this football right here, then you go up about ten feet backwards, and after that, you come running up and kick it."

Since it had been a very, very long time since George had last read a "Peanuts" comic strip, it should be no surprise that he played into Elaine's upcoming trick without knowing how gullible he was being at all.

George then said, as Jerry kept his magnifying glass well concealed with his hands and Kramer kept his feet obscured by the part of the picnic table seat he was sitting on so that George wouldn't see the cowboy boots that he'd quietly and discreetly put on, the words: "Hey, okay, Elaine! Why not? That sounds awesome!"

"Glad you think so." Elaine stated, then she said: "Now let's see you get back those ten feet, George. We don't want to stall here."

George nodded and went back those ten feet, with Elaine looking perfectly normal despite how she was alternating from giggling to bursting out laughing internally, anticipating what was to come considerably.

Once George was where she told him to go, he said: "Okay, Elaine, I'm ready if you are!"

"And I am! Run right up and kick this thing!" Elaine called over to where he was.

So George did just that.

Or, at least, he did the running part of it, because just as he was close enough to kick the ball and tried to do so, Elaine pulled it away with the help of her right hand and the left one which she'd been holding it down with.

George subsequently flew up into the air with an outstretched foot and yelled: " **AAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!** "

After he landed flat down on his back, Elaine exploded into laughter along with Jerry and Kramer, and she squeezed out through said laughter: "Hey, George, if I ever get a pet dog, I'm gonna name him Snoopy!"

George got mad and pushed himself back up to the ground, shouting: " **YOU THINK THAT'S FUNNY, ELAINE?! I'M GONNA KILL YOU! AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!** "

The last part came from how he suddenly felt a horrible burning sensation on his bald spot, and it turned out to be Jerry using his magnifying glass to make the sun's rays focus on that bald area of George's head, with Jerry then pushing through his laughter, which skyrocketed thanks to this and that of Elaine and Kramer doing the same: "Hey, George! Do you think I'm too hot to handle? Come on, you know you can tell me, even if you have to think it off the top of your head!"

George, after Jerry stopped frying his bald place, spun around in an even greater fury than before, telling Jerry: " **OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH, I'M SAVING ELAINE'S DEATH FOR AFTER I TORTURE YOU TO YOUR OWN!** "

All of a sudden, though, Kramer stood up and started dancing forward, each leg going high up into the air and back down to the ground again, the alternating accompanied by how, after being able to suppress his laughter enough to speak regularly, he asked George: "Hey, George! Before you kill Jerry and Elaine, I've got a riddle for you!"

" **WHAT? A RIDDLE? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, A RIDDLE?!** " George cried out.

"I mean just that. A riddle." Kramer responded, then said: "And here it is. What's the capital of Thailand?"

George, bewildered and baffled as could be, failed to notice that Kramer was bounding over towards him closer and closer, and simply spat out: " **OH, I DON'T KNOW! WHAT?!** "

Kramer, close enough by now, did a big, high kick into George's groin with first his right foot and then his left one, both of them being just as hard as the other and the spurs on those cowboy boots cutting George's legs a bit in the process.

As this occurred, Kramer went out: "BANGKOK!"

He was barely able to shoehorn it through his follow-up laughter, and once it consumed him, George had already gone: " **OOOOOOOOPPPPPFFFFFFFHHHHHHH!** " and was writhing on the ground, clutching his crotch, and letting out a mixture of growling and wailing as it happened.

Later on, when all of them had returned home and George had cleaned his cuts and put a bandage on each one, he barked at Jerry, Elaine and Kramer: "Some friends you guys are! The only way this could possibly have been worse is if anyone other than us knew about it!"

"Oh, didn't you hear?" Jerry said as he, Elaine and Kramer all flashed villainous grins at George.

George's eyes flew open widely, and he said: "NO! **NO! YOU DIDN'T!** "

"Oh, yes, we did, George!" Elaine let loose.

"We set up a video camera, which we also brought along with us, right down under the picnic table, and made sure to record everything and only stop that recording when we were all done!" Jerry leered.

"Oh, and we should mention!" Kramer added in, "Elaine set it up right in front of one of the lower windows of this building and made sure it would be seen by everyone walking by!"

"Not only this," stated Elaine, "but I made sure that it would play repeatedly from start to finish to make sure that no one in the entire city would be unware of it, not that this is likely to be the case either way, since a vast crowd of people is watching it as we speak. We looked out the window and saw that and everything."

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!** " George howled. " **I HATE YOU ALL!** "

After he ran out of Jerry's apartment, Jerry then said: "Up top, home slices!"

He, Elaine and Kramer gave each other a triple high-five, and an elated Elaine then sighed joyously: "By tomorrow, George will be the laughingstock of every last square inch of New York City."

She, Jerry and Kramer all had one good, big last laugh, and after they got to their usual stuff, it was to be followed by them getting to watch George be ridiculed, mocked and tormented by everyone he met the next morning, and always in ways that were laden with hysterical laughter.

" **MY LIFE IS OVER!** " George wailed while also howling out: " **AND THE THREE WHO I CALLED MY FRIENDS WERE THE ONES WHO RUINED IT, NO LESS!** "

He bawled uncontrollably, and, with the blatant exception of him, everyone had a really funny, merry, happy, enjoyable and excited life from that moment on, and in no small part at his expense, predictably enough, given what that led to while all else went hand in hand with it.

THE END

So, how did you like it, Seinfeld fans? I do hope that you'll all rate and review, especially those of you who hate George's guts the most!


End file.
